Toddlers need 11 to 14 hours of sleep every day, but that doesn't mean they'll hit the sack at 7 p.m. and not stir again until morning.
Even if your toddler has been sleeping through the night in her own crib or bed for months, she may enter a stage where she starts waking up once, twice (do I hear three times?) and cries until you lull her back to sleep.
Night waking is very normal for toddlers — and very common (just look at all the bleary-eyed parents of toddlers at the playground). Like any other unwanted behavior, though, this sleep habit will run its course given time and your patience — a lot of it!
Why is my toddler suddenly waking up in the middle of the night?
Has your little dreamer’s sleep turned a little, well, nightmarish? Sleep interruptions are sometimes a part of toddlerhood, especially when your sweetie isn’t feeling well or is dealing with something stressful or challenging. Some of the most common culprits include:
Teething
Incoming chompers — including 1- and 2-year molars and the upper and lower canines — can leave your toddler cranky during the day and might wake her at night.
When it comes to toddler teething relief, you likely know the drill by now: Offer something cold to chew on, and try acetaminophen or ibuprofen when she’s very uncomfortable with your pediatrician's approval.
Illness
Ear infections, stuffiness, sore throats and fever can all make it harder for your toddler to sleep soundly. (Can you blame her?)
Cool-mist humidifiers and soothing ointments can help ease cold symptoms, while applying warm or cool compresses can relieve pressure caused by an ear infection. Acetaminophen or ibuprofen are options for pain and fever relief too if your doctor gives the green light.
More About Toddler Sleep
Going through a big change
Life changes such as a new sibling, potty training, weaning, transitioning to a toddler bed, moving to a new home, or a new babysitter or day care provider can cause daytime anxiety — which may in turn translate into nighttime restlessness.
Adjusting can take some time for your little one. In the meantime, offering lots of attention during the day and before bed can help her feel more secure — and, hopefully, sleep better at night.
Fears
As your toddler’s thought processes become more sophisticated, she’ll develop the capacity to become afraid of things. And some — like a fear of the dark or a fear of being alone — could make it harder for her to sleep well.
Nightmare and night terrors
Toddlers can have a hard time understanding that bad dreams aren’t real, which can make them extra unsettling. Big changes and daytime stressors, lots of excitement before bed and being sick can all exacerbate nightmares, so try to keep things calm — especially before bedtime.
Opt for quiet play, soothing stories and sweet snuggles over rough-housing, loud noises or scary TV shows. If your toddler doesn’t already have a lovey or transitional object, offering one can also be a source of comfort.
Naps that run too long or too late
Marathon midday naps that run late into the afternoon might mean your toddler isn’t tired enough at bedtime to fall asleep and stay asleep through the night.
Experiment with moving naptime a little earlier in the day or cutting it shorter. It might take some trial and error, but getting daytime sleep right can mean sounder snoozing in the evening.
Naps that run too short or going to bed too late
Too much napping can wreck nighttime sleep — but so can too little. Overtired tots are often too wired to go to sleep or stay asleep, so they wake up again and again.
In general, aim to have your toddler in bed by 7:30 p.m. and no later than 8 p.m.. And don't be afraid to nudge bedtime a little earlier if she had a bad nap (or no nap at all).
Separation anxiety
Is your little one is going through a phase where she always wants to be with you and gets extra upset when you leave? As you might have guessed, that can make it harder for her to sleep well. Many toddlers deal with a bout of separation anxiety around 18 months, and these clingy periods can continue to come around for years.
The key is helping your sweetie cope without offering too much comfort. Try to diffuse the situation with a short, boring visit to her bedroom, then tell her goodnight.
Hitting a big milestone
Remember when your 9-month old kept waking up all night before she started crawling or pulling herself up? Major developmental milestones can trigger regressions in toddlers too — including sleep regressions.
The good news: Just like in babyhood, your toddler should get back to her normal snooze situation once she’s mastered her new skill — provided you don’t form any bad habits by giving those night wakings too much attention.
What can you do about your toddler's night waking?
Nighttime wakeups disrupt everyone’s sleep — yours and your toddler's. No matter the cause of her waking (and crying), what's keeping her — and you — from getting the Zzzs you both need is that your little one either hasn't learned how to fall back asleep on her own, or has gotten back into the habit of relying on you to soothe her into dreamland.
That's why the steps you take when she does wake up are so important in helping her learn (or relearn) that crucial skill:
- Don't rush in. If she whimpers in the middle of the night, wait a few minutes to see if she settles down on her own before rushing in. Remember, tots are noisy sleepers, and they’ll often cry out or make other noises in their sleep, only to return to slumber within a few minutes. If your child begins to cry in earnest, however, check to make sure she's not sick or otherwise needing your help.
- Provide low-key reassurance. Don't pick her up and don’t talk to her too much. The idea is to help your toddler learn how to comfort herself. Instead, gently pat her on the back, whispering “Shhh…” or “It’s okay.” If your toddler has woken up because of a nightmare, reassure her that it wasn’t real and she’s safe. When she's calmed down (but not asleep), leave the room. If she starts crying again, wait a few minutes before you return. Repeat as needed, gradually increasing the time between your appearances.
- Be consistent. Offering quiet reassurance one night but bringing your tot into your bed another night will give your child mixed messages. Reinforcing good sleep habits takes time and faithful follow-through. Your toddler won’t learn to fall back to sleep on her own if she’s confused about how you’ll respond to her nightly whimpers.
- Hang in there. It may take several nights but by the fourth or fifth night, the wake-ups will most likely have ended (really, they will!).
How can you prevent your toddler from waking up in the middle of the night?
Night disruptions sometimes come with the toddler territory, especially when your cutie isn’t feeling well. But a few smart strategies paired with a solid bedtime routine can keep the wee-hour wakefests to a minimum, so everyone can get the sleep they need.
- Make sure your toddler is getting the right amount of sleep overall. Both too much and too little daytime sleep can spell problems at night. If you think your toddler might be overtired, try an earlier bedtime and make sure she’s napping enough during the day. If you think she’s waking at night because she’s napping too much, try shortening her nap. Also make sure she’s not napping too close to bedtime.
- Get gung-ho about the bedtime routine. Next, if you haven't done so already, establish a soothing bedtime routine (warm bath, quiet story, hugs), which ends with you leaving the room before your child is asleep. This helps your child learn how to fall asleep on her own, which is a skill she’ll need to put herself back to sleep in the middle of the night (ideally, without ever having woken you up).
- Keep her comfy. Has your little one graduated out of her sleep sack? Toddlers tend to throw off their blanket while snoozing, so dress your dreamer warmly enough that she won’t be cold if she wakes up at night.
- Try adding a white noise machine. Putting one in your toddler’s bedroom is an easy way to block out noises from the rest of the house or outside.
- Offer a lovey. Comfort objects like a blanket or stuffed animal can keep your little one company and help her soothe herself back to sleep.
- Steer clear of the scaries. Avoid scary TV shows or books, since those could trigger nightmares and night waking.
- Keep an eye on screen time. Speaking of TV, any time spent in front of the tube or tablet before bed can disrupt your toddler’s sleep. Cut off the devices at least an hour before bed, and try to stick with healthy screen time limits throughout the day: The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends no more than an hour of high-quality programming for children over 2 and zero screen time for tots under 18 months.
Waking up during the night is part of the normal sleep cycle, but when your toddler's nocturnal calls and cries are keeping you awake, it can seem pretty unfair, considering all you went through during the baby years.
Taking steps to help prevent your toddler's nightly wake-ups in the first place and sticking to a consistent response when they do occur will help you get through this stage.