Using the Third Person - How Toddlers Talk About Themselves

Your toddler may not understand the concept of “I” or “me” until he’s close to three. Since he talks about himself a lot — after all, a toddler’s favorite topic is himself — but doesn’t yet know about “I” or “me,” he resorts to using the third person (“Bobby want cookie” or “Bobby sit here?”).

Why toddlers use the third person to refer to themselves:

Your tot might call himself by his first name for the same reason he mixes up “him” and “her” and other toddler words — he’s still learning to use pronouns and hasn’t heard enough examples to ace the usage. Another possible cause: If you and your partner are regularly using the third person when referring to yourselves — saying things like, “Mommy is getting a glass of water” or “Daddy is going to change his clothes” — your child might be imitating you.

What to know about your toddler using the third person:

In the unlikely event that your toddler is still using this language development quirk to refer to himself when he turns four, talk to your pediatrician, who might suggest a sit-down with a speech pathologist.

How to help your toddler use “me” and “I”:

Read to your child. Most preschool-age books are designed to clarify language rules, like how to use the third person, so start cracking them open often and make reading to your toddler a daily treat. Some books mimic baby talk, so skim through first before buying or checking them out of the library.
Watch your words. It’s natural to speak in the third person around your tot — saying things like, “Mommy’s going to go take a shower” — when you want your little one to learn what to call you. But do your best to break yourself (and your partner, if need be) of this habit so that your toddler will follow suit. Teach him how to call himself “I” by instead saying, “I am going to go take a shower” (by the way, congrats on finding time to take a shower!).
Bring your buddy to gatherings. Place your little linguist in lots of social situations — he’ll likely learn what to call himself when he chats more with people and begins to model how others speak.