Key findings
The majority of moms (79 percent) say it's important brands portray them realistically, but less than half of moms (46 percent) say brands actually do this.
Moms say there's a disconnect in how brands portray them and how they perceive themselves. They say brands place too much emphasis on their appearance, keeping their kids busy and having a clean and tidy home, when in reality they care most about protecting the mental health of themselves and their children.
Amazon, Pampers and Target top moms' list of brands that are "getting it right."
Most moms say it's important that brands portray them realistically, but less than half think brands actually do so, according to 7,046 current and expectant moms surveyed by Everyday Health Group, What to Expect’s parent company. The respondents — all between the ages of 18 and 54 — were either currently pregnant or had at least one child up to 8 years old. Here's what kind of marketing does win over Gen Z and Millennial parents — and what they really wish they could see in the media.
Moms want to see themselves portrayed authentically, but instead are served an Instagram-worthy ideal
Survey respondents were asked to think about the products and services they've used, the places they've shopped and the advertisements and social media posts they've seen from brands. Then they evaluated how realistically those marketing messages reflect their own lives.
While 79 percent of respondents believe it's important for marketing messages to portray pregnancy and motherhood realistically, just 46 percent of moms said marketers actually do that.
Moms said advertisers place more emphasis on the following qualities than they do themselves:
Physical appearance
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Keeping kids busy
Prioritizing their families over themselves
Having a tidy and clean home
Being physically fit
Meanwhile, these are the qualities moms say they actually emphasize in their own lives, but don't see in media and advertising:
Their own mental health
Their children's mental health
Teaching acceptance
Healthy body image
Children meeting milestones
Children getting more outdoor time
Part of this disconnect may stem from advertisers' tendency to sell a picture of perfection.
"It’s not surprising that moms might feel misrepresented in media and misunderstood by brands," says David Bosch, PhD, a clinical assistant professor of psychology at New York University specializing in consumer behavior and research methods. "Overall, there seems to be a trend, especially among younger segments including Gen Z and Millennials, toward a desire for authenticity and away from aspirational — especially fantasy-based — depictions of brands and their customers."
Parents say they are tired of seeing unrealistic images of moms who look put together (35 percent), families with no financial concerns (33 percent), and well-kept, organized or Instagram-worthy homes (32 percent).
"Don't advertise perfection," one survey respondent wrote. "With children, your house should get messy sometimes."
"It is important for my well-being to see that other parents/families have the same struggles I do," another mom added. "A brand that is able to recognize that will get my business over others."
Even if they recognize that ads sell an impossible standard of perfect parenting, moms can still experience negative outcomes from seeing these unrealistic marketing messages — especially since they're tough to avoid.
"When brands lean into the superficial aspects of new motherhood, it can be alienating and increase the pressure a new mom puts on herself," says Pamela Rutledge, PhD, a media psychologist. "It’s very hard to avoid media representations when you are a new mom, because while all the hyper-perfect moms [in media] may make you feel like you're not measuring up, the anxiety and desire to be a good mom and do the right thing for your baby mean that women are more likely to search for information."
Moms can help protect their mental health by keeping in tune with their emotions when they come across unrealistic ads. "For moms, just like anyone, it’s important to step back mentally when you notice a negative emotional reaction and remind yourself that media portrayals are not reality — they are aspirational at best and unachievable a lot of the time," Dr. Rutledge says. "New moms should not hesitate to block or avoid content that doesn’t contribute to their emotional well-being."
Avoiding content that triggers anxiety or undermines your self-esteem is a way to practice self-care, she says: "It's a form of setting boundaries just like you would offline around people who annoy you or make you feel bad."
Moms' favorite brands make them feel safe and confident
Some companies do get it right. Moms say they gravitate toward brands that make them feel safe (46 percent), confident (41 percent), happy (39 percent) and responsible (37 percent).
"Share research and data that helps me feel confident in purchasing this brand," one parent requested of marketers. "I want to know from legitimate sources that the product is valid. I care more about the [American Academy of Pediatrics]' recommendations than what's popular or trendy."
New moms not only want the information on whether a particular item works, but also insight on how to shop for things they've never had to buy before. "Brands can help with awareness and education," another parent said. "For example, there are so many baby sleep sacks. I have no idea how to evaluate them, what TOG is, should I ever have a fleece one, what does the baby wear under it, etc."
When moms don't trust brands, they spend lots of time scrutinizing products, reading reviews and getting recommendations from friends, family and even pediatricians before making a decision, Dr. Bosch says.
"It can tax moms' energy even more," he explains. "Being able to rely on specific brands and products would certainly be helpful to a busy mom."
Diversity in advertising — showing people of different races, socioeconomic status, body types, abilities, ages and family types — also proved really important to the parents we surveyed. Gen Z moms (18- to 26-year-olds) in particular are 26 percent more likely to say that they dislike a lack of diversity in ad content compared to Millennial moms (27- to 41-year-olds).
Other downfalls include items that are too expensive (31 percent), products that are poor quality or ineffective (24 percent), and brands that are unsafe or that have been recalled (17 percent).
Amazon tops moms' list of go-to brands
Amazon, Pampers and Target topped the list of brands that survey respondents said accurately "get" them.
When it comes to Amazon, it's not necessarily the marketing messages that resonate with mothers. Survey respondents focused on Amazon's shopping experience, explaining that it offers a level of convenience and trust that makes them feel more secure, productive and supported.
"I just feel like Amazon is great for new moms," one respondent said. "Knowing like, oh my gosh, I'm not gonna be at home at five o'clock, needing to run to the store because I didn't have formula. Because I can sign up for a subscription where it sends it to me without even having to worry.”
Overall, moms say that brands that "get it" are reliable (53 percent), affordable (50 percent) and trustworthy (49 percent).
Frida is another brand that both Millennial and Gen Z mothers think hits the mark, particularly in its advertising. "They try to fill a market gap by providing postpartum health care supplies and taking women's health seriously — obviously, also to make money off it, but at least they're raising awareness," one wrote. Another said, "They’re open about the gross but practical stuff."
By speaking to parents honestly and accurately, advertisers have a big opportunity to make a difference.
"Much has changed in the social environment over the last few decades, as we all know, and that includes an increasing emphasis on social values in media and marketing representation," Dr. Bosch says. "Being as open and forthright as possible, in other words, really being genuine, is the best strategy for brands."
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