If your baby is ready to graduate from spoon-feeding — or you're trying a baby-led weaning approach — it’s time to introduce a new utensil to the high chair: baby’s fingers.

Self-feeding is a big milestone in your little one's development, as it encourages her to explore food through her senses of touch, taste, sight and smell. And just when you thought mealtime couldn’t get any messier!

Give her lots of practice with smaller, bite-sized morsels of food to help her master important finger skills, and learn how to gum, chew and move food around in her mouth — all crucial skills for a developing eater.

Here are some simple tips, tricks and ideas to help you and your baby make the transition to self-feeding.

When can a baby start self-feeding?

As soon as your baby can sit up and swallow solids (usually around the age of 6 months), she may be ready to start self-feeding.  

Some parents choose to introduce purées before letting their little one graduate to finger foods around 7 or 8 months, while other families opt for baby-led weaning (BLW) — a practice in which babies start feeding themselves soft, gummable foods when they first start sampling solids around the 6-month mark.

Fans of baby-led weaning say that the process allows babies to control how much (and how quickly) they eat. Another plus: Babies can eat the same types of foods (in baby-sized portions and consistencies, of course) as the rest of the family. 

When to introduce finger foods is up to you. And, of course, always get the green light from your pediatrician before offering solids and finger foods.

How should parents introduce self-feeding?

To start, bring your baby’s high chair to the table with you during regular meals (she eats when you eat). Next, scatter four or five small pieces onto an unbreakable plate or directly onto baby’s feeding tray (or offer a soft, gummable food such as banana strips if you're following a baby-led weaning approach).

Beginning eaters confronted with too much food, especially all in one spot, may respond either by trying to stuff all of it into their mouths at once or by sending it all to the floor with one high-chair-clearing swipe — a good reason to serve it up slowly.

Don’t get disheartened if more of the food winds up on her lap (or hair) than in her mouth. Until your child is 12 months old, solid foods will merely supplement her diet as she figures out how to self-feed. It also can take time for her palate to develop: Kids may need to try a food 10 to 15 times before they’ll finally accept it. 

If she rejects a food, put it aside for now, and introduce it again later. Some studies have suggested that pushing your child to eat more — even to “just try one more bite” — could lead to picky eating later on, though other studies found that how you feed your baby — BLW or spoon-feeding — may make little difference for picky eating.

Some play is part of the experience, but when self-feeding dissolves into all play and no eating, it’s time to end the meal.

Stages of self-feeding

The transition from exclusive bottle- or breastfeeding to self-feeding won’t happen overnight. It will also be messy. Even if your baby puts everything into her mouth, trying to figure out the mechanics of maneuvering food to mouth (let alone actually gumming it) is challenging.

Here are the grips she’ll use to maneuver food into her mouth during her first year: 

  • Palmar grasp: Most babies start out by holding their food in their fists, not having learned yet to coordinate their individual fingers for pickup and transport. Some learn to open the hand flat against the mouth, while others put their food down and pick it up again with more of it exposed — strategies that can consume a lot of time but don’t result in the consuming of much food.
  • Pincer grasp: As your baby perfects the pincer grasp, usually between 9 and 12 months, her ability to hold smaller objects, like peas and small pasta shapes, between thumb and forefinger will improve — considerably expanding the menu and the amount of self-feeding that can practically be done.

Tips for encouraging your baby to self-feed

It may be messy, but learning how to self-feed is an important milestone for her to master. Use these tips at mealtimes:

  • Offer plenty of opportunities for practice. It’ll take time before your little one is able to maneuver food into her mouth, but in the meantime, she’ll learn how to eat independently and recognize when she’s full. 
  • Set a good example. Remember: Babies learn by imitating their parents — so when she sees you eating broccoli and applesauce, she’ll be more likely to follow suit.
  • Add some texture to slippery foods. Are those soft, yummy finger foods (like mango, avocado and tofu) slipping and sliding in your baby’s pudgy fingers? Try grinding Cheerios or other whole grain cereal, wheat germ or whole grain crackers into a fine powder, and then coat the foods with the “dust.” It’ll make it easier for your little one to grab hold of and munch on — plus, it’ll boost the nutrition of the food. 

Best finger foods for introducing solids

You can introduce your child to many of the same foods that are found in baby purées, just in manageable serving sizes (small, bite-sized pieces or strips, depending on whether or not you're following a BLW approach).

Some foods to try:

  • Bananas
  • Pears
  • Peaches
  • Mangos
  • Avocados
  • Bread
  • Cheese
  • Steamed broccoli
  • Spinach
  • Tofu 
  • Cooked pasta

Foods to avoid serving babies

As long as you offer her safe foods in age-appropriate preparations, your little one’s gums are quite capable of chewing. 

Still, there are foods you shouldn’t give to a baby who’s learning to self-feed, including foods that don’t dissolve in the mouth, can’t be mashed with the gums or can be easily sucked into the windpipe. Here are some foods to avoid:

  • Raisins and whole grapes
  • Nuts and seeds (including popcorn)
  • Whole peas or chickpeas (unless they’re smashed)
  • Raw, firm vegetables such as carrots or bell peppers
  • Raw, firm fruit such as apples, unripe pears and grapes
  • Large gobs of peanut butter
  • Large chunks of meat or cheese
  • Hot dogs
  • Hard or sticky candy

Once the molars come in (the front teeth are for biting, and don’t improve your child’s ability to chew) somewhere around the end of the first year for early teethers, foods that require real chewing can be added. These include raw apples (grated or cut into very small pieces); small slices of meat and poultry (cut across the grain); and seedless grapes (skinned and halved).

But hold off until age 4 or 5 on common choking hazards such as raw carrots, popcorn, nuts and whole hot dogs. Introduce them only when your child is chewing well.

Safety tips when starting self-feeding

Always offer solid food in age-appropriate preparations. If you're following a BLW approach, that usually means thicker strips that baby can palm and gum at 6 months, then smaller, bite-sized pieces by 9 months as her pincer grasp improves. For spoon-fed babies who have graduated to finger foods, introduce small, bite-sized pieces when you first start encouraging self-feeding.

Along with offering her manageable servings of food, make sure your baby is sitting upright in her chair whenever she eats. Babies who are crawling, cruising or toddling around are at risk for choking. Be sure, too, to learn the difference between gagging and choking:

  • Gagging: A baby who is gagging will be coughing and making sounds.
  • Choking: A child who is choking will look terrified, will not be making any sounds and will be unable to breathe. 

As alarming as it sounds, gagging is actually a safety response to food traveling too far back into the mouth. When babies gag, they’re handling the problem themselves, and it’s best to just stay calm — or at least look calm — until it passes. The gagging will ease up as baby learns to cope with the solids and the lumps.

Beyond safety, the most important thing to remember about self-feeding is that, for your baby, eating isn’t just a matter of taste and nutrition, but of feeling, smelling, squishing and smearing food. Self-feeding may make mealtimes longer and messier, but think of those splats and splatters as a fun and important learning experience for your baby.