If you chose to breastfeed, hopefully it was an enjoyable bonding experience for you and your little one. But like all milestones, it eventually comes to an end. First, congratulate yourself on making it this far!
If you still find nursing satisfying and enjoyable and dread giving it up, there's no reason to stop breastfeeding your baby altogether. In fact, the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends breastfeeding exclusively for about the first six months of a baby's life and continuing — along with feeding complementary foods — for as long as both mother and child are game.[1] That could be for two years or even more, if it's working for both of you.
What if you're not game? If your milk supply is waning or if pumping is proving untenable, you may want to switch over to formula (or, if you wait until he's 1, you can wean him straight to whole cow's milk from a cup). You may simply be tired of nursing, and that's fine, too.
Here's how to start the transition in a way that's most comfortable for both of you.
When should you wean your baby from breastfeeding?
Deciding when it’s time to wean is different for all babies. Some children keep their attachment to nursing well into toddlerhood. Others show less interest and start to self-wean before their first birthday (commonly between 9 and 12 months).
The AAP recommends exclusive breastfeeding for about the first six months of your baby’s life and then a mix of breast milk and solid food as long as mutually desired — for two years or even more. If the arrangement is working for both of you, it’s perfectly fine to continue breastfeeding into toddlerhood.
What if you want to wean sooner than that? Ultimately, the decision of when to stop breastfeeding is a personal one, and every mother should do what works best for herself and her baby.
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That said, there are some times when you should try to avoid weaning if possible. You might want to consider holding off if:[2]
- Your child is sick or teething. Your little one will have an easier time with the change when he’s feeling his best.
- Your family is going through a transitional period. Going back to work, starting with a new caregiver or moving can be stressful. Consider waiting until things have settled before adding another big change.
- You've had a rough day of breastfeeding. Some days are just hard. It’s perfectly fine to stop if nursing continues to be challenging or unenjoyable. But give yourself some time before making a final decision.
How do you wean your baby?
If your child is still an avid nurser but you're less inclined, allow plenty of time — a few weeks or longer — for a gentle transition. Ideally, you should start the weaning process a month or two before your deadline, if you have one. If you want to make sure your baby gets the benefits of breast milk for as long as possible, you can start replacing your nursing sessions with pumping until you're ready to wean your baby completely.
Try dropping one feeding at a time, giving him some formula before a nursing session or gradually reducing the time he spends nursing at each feeding. For toddlers over 1, you can replace breast milk with cow’s milk or a snack.
Taking it slow is good for you, too. Gradually weaning allows your supply to taper off slowly, helping you avoid uncomfortable engorgement and plugged ducts. If you’re weaning in preparation for the end of your maternity leave, allowing plenty of time can also ease some of the emotional pressure involved.
Many moms find that starting by dropping or shortening a midday feed is best, especially if your child has recently had lunch and might not be as hungry for milk. Once you successfully stop one feeding, you can give yourself and your little one some time to adjust — a few days or even a few weeks, depending on what feels right — before moving on to dropping another feeding.
If stopping nursing gradually isn’t possible, you can hand express or pump to relieve the pressure as your milk supply gradually decreases. Placing cold cabbage leaves in your bra can be soothing. Applying cool compresses to your breasts or taking a pain reliever like acetaminophen (Tylenol and others) can also help ease some of the discomfort.
Regardless of how slowly or quickly you decide to wean, pay attention to how your little one is weathering the change. Some babies and toddlers take to weaning easily. But if your child is showing signs that things are moving too fast — waking more at night, or acting moodier or more clingy during the day — it might be worth thinking about slowing the pace a little bit.
Partial weaning vs. full weaning
Whether you’re getting ready to head back to work or you’re simply feeling overwhelmed by round-the-clock nursing, you may want to try partial weaning — breastfeeding during certain times of the day but not others.
For most moms, partial weaning means giving up breastfeeding during the day and continuing to nurse in the morning and at night. In short, breastfeeding doesn’t have to be all or nothing — so if full-time nursing feels like too much, think about whether partially cutting back might be a good fit.
Age-by-age guide to weaning
Weaning a young baby is quite different than weaning an older baby or a toddler. Here are some strategies for stopping or cutting back on nursing based on your little one’s age:
How to wean at 0 to 3 months
Sometimes early weaning is easier, because your baby isn’t quite as attached to breastfeeding as he will be a few months down the line. You’ll need to get him well acquainted with the bottle, which can be done by offering it before each breastfeeding session and then tapering off nursing completely.
Worried that your baby might come to like the bottle more than the breast altogether? Milk or formula tends to flow more easily from a bottle, so your baby doesn’t have to suck as hard. But you can slow the flow of formula and make sucking from a bottle more like sucking from the breast by using a bottle nipple made for a preemie or newborn and sticking with paced bottle feeding.
How to wean at 4 to 6 months
By 4 months, your baby has likely grown attached to his usual source of nourishment: your breasts. So weaning might be more difficult.
A little distraction never hurt anyone, and it’s especially helpful at around 5 months, when he starts to notice the world around him. Start gradually with the daily feeding he's least interested in, and then taper off from there.
How to wean at 6 to 12 months
Some babies will self-wean between 9 and 12 months, which could make the process much simpler. Your sweetie could be losing interest if he's:
- Nursing for less time
- Fussing or being easily distracted while nursing
- Frequently pulling at or biting at the breast instead of eating
Bear in mind that others don’t take well to being told that breastfeeding is no longer an option. Luckily, the introduction of solid foods can help in a big way. Is your baby still going gah gah over breastfeeding? Try distracting him with finely mashed or pureed bananas or sweet potatoes.
How to wean a toddler
Some toddlers will wake up one day and decide they’re done — that they no longer need the security of nursing and are ready to graduate to whole cow's milk and solids.
Others don't lose interest in nursing and may need a nudge in that direction. It might be helpful to explain to him that now he's a big boy and it’s time to stop nursing. And then gradually reduce nursing sessions to only when he asks. Changing up your routines during times when he usually nurses or offering a snack at times before he usually nurses can help, too.
How to wean from breast to a bottle or a cup
Make the switch gradually — first so that your breasts don't become painfully engorged (ouch!), and second so that your baby won't balk at a dramatic change. Start with the feeding that interests her the least (usually mid-morning or mid-afternoon, when she's busy playing). Substitute a bottle for breastfeeding once a day for the first week, and work your way up from there.
Even if you’re not planning to wean from breast to bottle right now, keep in mind that timing is everything when it comes to introducing a bottle to a breastfed baby. If you plan for your baby to take bottles of pumped milk or formula later on, like when you go back to work, start introducing bottles with pumped milk when your baby is 2 or 3 weeks old a few times a week. (You can pump the milk right before your baby’s usual feeding time and have your partner or another caregiver offer the bottle so you can take a break.)
At that point, he’ll have gotten the hang of breastfeeding before trying the bottle, but won’t have gotten so used to breastfeeding that he turns his nose up at the bottle altogether.
If you’re weaning closer to your baby’s first birthday and he hasn’t had much (or any) experience) with bottles, you might opt to move straight to a cup. Again, start with the feeding that interests your little one the least, and simply give him a cup instead. Offer formula if your baby is under 1, or whole cow’s milk or water and a snack if your child is over 12 months.
How to make weaning easier
Even if you’re ready to be done breastfeeding right now, weaning can often be more of a marathon than a sprint — especially if your little one is used to nursing several times a day. Some strategies that can ease the transition for both of you:[3]
- Share feeding duties. If your baby seems frustrated when you offer a bottle instead of the breast, try having a partner or caregiver do the feeding instead.
- Find other ways to stay close. Set aside time just for snuggling so you and your sweetie are still getting that all-important physical contact. For toddlers, also plan for plenty of just-the-two-of-you activities where you’re giving him your full attention, like going to the park together or reading.
- Tweak the bedtime routine. Bedtime or naptime breastfeeding sessions can be the hardest for your little one to let go of. Try to find something other than breastfeeding to help whisk your child off to dreamland. Maybe it’s singing a song or reading a book. No matter what, give yourself a break and be as gradual as is feasible.
- Don’t rush it. Cutting out one feed every two or three days should be slow enough to help you manage any engorgement issues. But you can certainly move slower if you want to, or if it seems like your little one would benefit from a more gradual pace.
- Hit pause if needed. If it seems like your little one is having a hard time adjusting to weaning, or if he hits a snag like teething or gets a cold, consider stalling wherever you’re at and starting back up in a week or two.
How to care for yourself when you stop breastfeeding
Weaning is just as significant for you as it is for your baby. In addition to dealing with physical changes as your body’s milk production shuts down, it’s completely normal to have big — and often, mixed! — feelings about the end of your breastfeeding experience. Some ways to cope:
- Expect to not feel like yourself. Similar to the days after giving birth, weaning causes a major hormonal shift that can trigger feelings of sadness, anxiety, relief and happiness — all at the same time. But if you feel more than a little depressed, check in with your doctor. Sometimes postpartum depression can develop after weaning.
- Take it easy. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, cut out the outside noise and give yourself some space to adjust to the new normal.
- Try cold cabbage leaves for comfort. Tuck the cabbage leaves in your bra to ease soreness from engorgement. Once the leaves warm up or wilt, replace them with fresh cold ones.
Just like learning how to breastfeed in the early days, for most moms and little ones, weaning is a process. It’ll take some time for your baby or toddler to get used to not nursing, as well as for you to adjust both physically and emotionally.
So take your time settling into this new stage with your sweetie, if you can. And above all, congratulate yourself on an incredible mission, accomplished.
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