No one will tell you that laboring and giving birth is easy. And whether this is your first or third baby, a doula can be there to offer the right kind of support exactly when you need it.
If you're not familiar with a doula, a doula is a professional who provides physical, emotional and partner support before, during and shortly after childbirth. You can also hire a postpartum doula, who will provide support to you and your baby in the days after birth.
If you're thinking about hiring a doula but aren't quite sure if it's the best choice for you, we spoke to three women who worked with different types of doulas. Here, they share their personal, very sweet and loving stories:
"We developed a sisterhood"
"My whole life I always wanted to be a mama, so when I got pregnant, I was super excited, but also really nervous. I had never been through this before, and I didn't want to go into pregnancy and labor not knowing what to expect. During my first trimester, I started researching doulas and interviewed a few at a company. There was one I really felt I had a connection with, and she was also a mom. Her energy was good, her referrals were excellent and she was experienced.
I knew my husband would be supportive during labor and delivery, but it was different having someone who had been through it by my side. Even though I read tons of books about pregnancy and birth, my doula was there to answer all of my questions. When round ligament pain was bad, for example, she suggested specific positions to sit on the couch to release pelvic area pressure.
Labor started when I was 39 weeks and 1 day. The contractions began at 9 a.m., and at 3 p.m. I messaged her. Once I got to the hospital, things were smooth sailing. I labored for as long as I could without pain medication, and then I got an epidural.
Throughout that time, I felt the presence of my doula, but it wasn't overwhelming at all. She'd pass my husband water to give to me or add a bit of essential oil to my wrist before my next round of pushing.
While pushing, I kept my eyes closed, but I could hear her words of encouragement. My husband was great, of course, but having her strong, stable and loving presence made all the difference. After three hours of pushing, I gave birth to a healthy boy. If we have any more children, I would absolutely hire a doula again.
I also hired a postpartum doula. Again, I had never gone through this before, so I didn't know if postpartum recovery would be easy-breezy or extremely tough. My postpartum doula was very gentle and knowledgeable. So, when I was scared to give my baby boy one of his first baths, she said, 'Let's do this together.'
For 10 days postpartum, she would come over in the evening for a few hours and take a feeding shift while I got a much-needed longer nap. When I was afraid to take a sitz bath, she assured me it was safe. When I felt miserable, she sat with me and asked what I needed. It was this sisterhood experience that was beautiful, caring and helpful. It's something I'd recommend to everyone."
—Violet Ostuni, 34, San Francisco, California
"The most valuable part was the pictures our doula captured"
"I was 32 weeks pregnant with my first child when I thought, 'I should probably get a doula.'
I was hoping to have an unmedicated birth, and I wanted to find a doula to support my husband in supporting me during labor. Knowing that labor can take a while, I also wanted to have someone there for me if he had to go grab food or rest. We also really wanted to have pictures, which is why we hired Danielle Kent, who is both a doula and a photographer.
This struck the perfect balance for us. She was our doula for labor support and then switched to photography during the pushing and delivery phase, as well as a couple hours postpartum.
My delivery was really great. Despite the fact that my labor was 24 hours, I was able to have an unmedicated birth as planned, and I think having a doula was part of that success. My doula and husband were able to switch off offering me counterpressure during labor, and it was really nice to have two support people with me in the room.
But it was the photography part of the experience that I especially cherish. I'm pretty modest, so I was unsure about how much detail I wanted in the photos, but it turned out to be a really special experience.
My daughter was the first grandchild on either side of the family, so being able to send these photos out to them really helped parents and siblings feel more involved. It was special to have her first moments captured, like an image of my husband cutting the umbilical cord.
These photos allow me to see my labor from an outside perspective. Understandably I was not very present for the last couple hours of labor!
Danielle visited us the day after in the hospital, bringing fresh fruit and coffee so we could process the experience together. She was so supportive and still checks in with me. We plan to have more kids and would love to have a doula again."
—Erin Soares, 29, Lakewood, Colorado
"I realized how amazing doulas are"
"At the time I had my first baby, hiring a doula was not very common. I didn't even know that kind of support existed until I was 8 months pregnant! I had been talking to someone close to me and telling her that I wanted an unmedicated birth and that it was going to go fast and easy. She said, 'Oh, Anna … I hope it goes well.'
That friend ended up giving me the experience of a birth doula as a gift. My doula's name was Rachel. I went into the experience without expectations. Birth is so intimate, I thought I'd be very shy and value my privacy over all other things.
I can tell you that those were not my priorities during birth! My labor was 42 hours in the hospital. It was really hard, and I relied so heavily on my doula. Looking back on all the things that happened, I think I may have ended up with a C-section if I didn't have my doula there with me helping me navigate labor.
She used breathing techniques, movement, massage, and heat and cold to help me stay as comfortable as I could during my unmedicated labor and birth. Those techniques were helpful, but I think what was most impactful was her reassurance that things would be okay.
I was stuck at 3 centimeters dilated for a really long time — 41 hours — and Rachel would remind me that that was just a number and that my body was doing the work it needed to. She helped me find that strength within myself.
Rachel stayed with me as my doula for my second and third child. My third was a very complicated birth because my baby's heart rate kept dropping. During that labor, I had to stand next to the bed the entire time trying to stay relaxed because when I would lay down, her heart rate would decrease.
This is when I broke down crying so many times, and the trauma of that birth — worrying if my daughter would be okay — was frightening. Because of my medical history, a C-section was risky, so together with my midwives, we had to figure out how to labor safely.
It was difficult not to panic and get scared. She said to me, 'You're so strong. I don't know how you're doing it — but you're doing it.' She helped me feel like it was okay. And my daughter was born healthy.
When I started working with Rachel, I couldn't have predicted the impact it would have on my life. After my first birth, when my daughter was 6 months old, I started training to become a doula. I realized how amazing doulas are and that's what I wanted to dedicate my life to. (I'm now the owner of Chicago Family Doulas.) As a doula now myself, I know that we want families to know they have choices in labor, feel empowered in those choices, and feel as if they're cared for and heard."
—Anna Rodney, 42, Chicago, Illinois
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