Group Play for Toddlers

"How do I get my toddler interested in playing with other kids? Right now she'll watch them play, but won't participate."

As parents, we want our kids to have healthy and active social lives, and seeing them sit alone on the sidelines can be disconcerting (especially if you're a parent who had your own troubles with shyness or awkwardness as a child).

But for a toddler who is just testing the social waters and taking her first tentative steps out from under your wing, watching is a valuable and significant form of participation. By being an observer, tots learn about normal forms of interaction through parallel play — including the rules of toddler play and how to react.

As they get older and more experienced with the social scene, they'll be more likely to join the romp.

How to help your toddler feel comfortable playing with other kids

That's not to say you can't start gently encouraging your child to participate and help make things go smoothly for her. Try these tips to help your toddler make the transition to group play:

• Be sure to give her plenty of time to warm up to the group and lots of space to make her own decisions about when to join in.
• Don't rush her into a situation where she's not comfortable (pushing your reticent child may only make her more reticent), and don't hover, unless it's clear she wants you nearby.
• If your child is generally overwhelmed by large packs of kids, arrange one-on-one playdates for her, or sit and play with her and a small group and show her how it's done. By making playtime look like a blast ("Look at what this toy can do, Sweetie! And check out what Susie is playing with over there!"), she won't be able to resist participating.

Most importantly, make sure your little one knows that she has your unconditional love and acceptance — and that wherever she stands on the social stage (behind the scenes, or front and center), you'll always be her biggest fan.