We all have values that are important to us. Then we try to teach them to our kids. Everyone’s list is a little different. But most parents would put responsibility up there with honesty, sharing and kindness.
So what is responsibility? It’s being dependable and keeping your word. It’s doing the things you’re supposed to do without being told (most of the time). It’s being accountable for your work and owning up to mistakes.
Of course, your toddler has a long way to go before he can put these goals into practice on his own. But that doesn’t mean he can’t start picking up these lessons — as soon as your toddler learns to walk.
Teaching responsibility to your 2- and 3-year-old is all about tapping into a toddler's seemingly natural desire to help. And age-appropriate chores for kids is a good way to start.
How can you teach responsibility to your toddler?
Toddlers and preschoolers are always watching what you do and say. Take advantage to instill some mini-lessons in responsibility by following these tips:
- Be a good role model. You can’t expect your tot to help put away his toys or dishes if you don’t do the same with your stuff. Or try to weasel out of doing your share of the housework. So let your toddler see how you tackle tasks and take pride in a job well done.
- Let your child do things on his own (within reason). Responsibility for kids starts with lessons in independence. For toddlers, that may mean pulling up their own pants. Or stirring the muffin batter. Three-year-olds might be able to fix a bowl of cereal if you give them a pint-sized pitcher. All these steps are small, but mighty. Let your toddler know how much you appreciate his efforts to pitch in.
- Set limits. To become a responsible kid, your toddler has to learn right from wrong, self-control, and how to be considerate of others. Yes, it’s a work in progress, but that’s why you have rules. Set age-appropriate guidelines (safety and health, respect for others) and let your toddler know what they are. Then be prepared to follow through with consequences — taking a toy away if your toddler hits his friend with it, for instance. That will help your toddler learn he’s accountable for his actions.
- Give your child s few age-appropriate chores to do around the house. A great way to teach your child responsibility is to assign a few simple household duties that he can do comfortably and safely for his age. Cleaning up toys, helping fold laundry, and even making his bed or straightening his crib are good places to start.
Why are chores for kids so important?
Is it necessary for your toddler to pitch in around the house? Why yes, it is. At this age, chores are less about doing tasks on their own for a reward and more about lending a hand as you go about household chores.[1]
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In fact, research suggests that even before they turn 2, toddlers want to help and this may be because they want your praise (“What a big help you are! Good job putting the toys away!”).
Chores teach toddlers and preschoolers a sense of responsibility because they are helping with the day-to-day running of the home. But chores also:
Teach kids practical skills, like cleaning up, sorting laundry or feeding a pet
Teach independence as children learn to do tasks — dust, wipe up spills, put on a shirt — on their own
Work on gross and fine motor skills when they drop toys into the containers or dust the window sills
Make them feel as if they’re a valuable member of the family with something to contribute
Boost self-esteem when they can do something on their own
Age-appropriate chores for kids who are 2 years old
Some chores that toddlers can safely and easily do[2] when they’re 2 years old include:
Put away toys. Start by letting your child drop a few toys into the containers, then build from there.
Carry his dishes to the sink or dishwasher. Make sure the dishes are plastic, so if your little one drops the dish, it’s no big deal.
Put away some groceries (put the oranges and apples into the fridge drawer, say)
Put away shoes
Drop dirty clothes into the hamper
Age-appropriate chores for kids who are 3 years old
The same general principles you used for your younger toddler apply to 3- and even 4-year-olds. Whatever task you’re adding to their chore list, break it down and show them what to do. Keep chores simple and basic. Otherwise, older toddlers and preschoolers will find them frustrating — and will give up. And keep reminding them over and over.
Besides the chores that a 2-year-old can do, these for 3-year-olds can be added that also teach responsibility:
Dust window sills
Wipe up spills
Hang up jacket or coat
Help sort clean laundry (such as pair socks together)
Help with a baby sibling — bring you diapers, burp cloths, pacifiers when you need them
Put away canned or boxed goods or take them out of the bags after grocery shopping
Dress themselves
Scoop out dry pet food
Tips for getting your toddler to do chores
Even before they turn 2, toddlers can help. Remember, the operative word is "help." They won’t be able to do these things without you showing them how and working alongside them. To coax your 2-year-old, 3-year-old and preschooler to cooperate:
Make it part of your routine. Set a consistent time for cleaning the toys or putting dirty clothes into the hamper. Maybe you clean up the toys before dinner, say.
Make it fun. Have a special song or playlist for cleaning the toys. Or turn cleanup into a game (“See how many toys you can put away before the song ends”). These help tots be more cooperative.
Show your child what you want. Your toddler won’t know how to sort socks or put toys in the right container unless you show him. Mark containers with a picture of the toy (a truck for the toy cars and vehicles) or assign different colors to different types of toys.
Break it into smaller jobs. Your toddler can put away the books or carry his plate to the sink. Plus, that makes the job less overwhelming than “clean up the toys” and “clear the table”
Keep expectations low. Your toddler can’t clean up the whole family room on his own. But he can help you by focusing on putting the stuffed animals and trucks away. And he won’t remember to do things on his own, so you’ll have to remind him over (and over and over).
Make it a family affair. Get everyone in on the clean-up act. And crank up the tunes.
Keep it positive. Focus on what your toddler or preschooler can do, not what they didn’t do. And take pride in their accomplishments.
Does a toddler chore chart help?
Chore charts can be great motivators. They let your 2- or 3-year-old see what you expect. And they offer positive reinforcement for getting jobs done.
Chore charts should be simple. Use pictures instead of letters — a toy and container for clean-up, say. The chore chart itself can be anything that works, from colorful sheets of paper to laminated boards. Stick it up on the fridge or another place where your toddler can see it and use it.
Let your little one put stickers or use a colorful marker to check off the chores once they’re done. You can give your toddler a “reward” after the week is done — it could be something fun and free like a dance party or an ice-cream outing. Or it could be a small toy. Whatever works. Sometimes the reward could just be getting to use the stickers (so maybe your toddler can choose special ones for the chore chart).
So the next time your toddler wants to help, say, “yes.” It’s never too early to give your little one some simple basic responsibilities. It’s good for your child’s self-esteem. And you get a helping hand, which will only get bigger and more useful as your child gets older.
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