Stillbirth is one of the scariest words to a pregnant mom. Although it's rare, stillbirth can happen even in a pregnancy that seemed completely normal — which makes the shock, disbelief and heartbreak that much more excruciating.

What is a stillbirth?

A stillbirth is a late-term pregnancy loss that occurs at or after 20 weeks gestation.[1]

When does stillbirth usually happen?

Most stillbirths happen before labor begins. An early stillbirth occurs between weeks 20 and 27, a late stillbirth occurs between weeks 28 and 36, and a term stillbirth occurs from week 37 on.

How common is stillbirth?

Stillbirth is relatively rare, occurring in approximately 1 out of 160 pregnancies.[2]

Stillbirth causes

There are any number of conditions and complications that can lead to stillbirth, including infections, placental defects, umbilical cord problems, high blood pressure and associated conditions, and others. An autopsy or genetic testing can sometimes provide more information.

Still, despite the wealth of information available, experts are often unable to pin down a specific cause of death for a full third of babies who are stillborn. 

Stillbirth symptoms

The most common symptoms of stillbirth include:

What you can do to prevent stillbirth

Unfortunately it can’t always be prevented. But there are things you can do to reduce your risk:

  • Keep track of your baby's movements in the third trimester of your pregnancy (starting at week 28 and continuing until you give birth) by doing kick counts. If you notice that your baby is moving less or more frequently, or if you don't feel movement at all, call your practitioner immediately.
  • Call your pregnancy doctor or midwife if you have vaginal bleeding. This and other symptoms could be a sign that something is wrong. There are a number of conditions that might lead to stillbirth which, if detected early enough, can be treated or controlled. 
  • Go to all your prenatal appointments. It's the best way to get a regular temperature check of how your baby is doing.
  • Avoid alcohol, cigarettes, vaping, marijuana and drugs, and get the green light for herbal, OTC and prescription meds. Talk to your midwife or doctor about what herbal remedies and medications are safe during pregnancy.

How to cope if you've experienced a stillbirth

If you do experience a stillbirth, you might wonder how you can go on and what will make you feel normal again. There is no easy answer, and no one can take away your sorrow. 

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Miscarriage and Pregnancy
Losing a Premature Baby

But there are things you can do that may help in small ways. Here are some tips for how to cope after a stillbirth as well as some ways to honor your lost baby.

  • Hold the baby. You may be tempted to refuse, but as heartbreaking as it may feel, it can help to hold your baby if at all possible. It's far more difficult to grieve for a child you've never seen or touched. When you've begun to heal, you'll cherish the memory of cradling your baby in your arms — even just that once.
  • Name the baby. Give your child a name and say it aloud. Naming your lost child can make your baby's death more real to you, and can ultimately help you say good-bye. 
  • Take a photograph. If you can't bear to take a picture of your baby, ask someone else to do it for you. You don't have to look at it right away, but it might be precious to you later. Save it, along with other special keepsakes of your baby so there's something tangible for you to hang on to and treasure. 
  • Clear the nursery. It can be very hard to come home to a fully-equipped nursery. You or your partner can ask your family to put your baby gear in storage before you get home from the hospital. 
  • Designate a loved one to share the news. Having a friend or family member disseminate the information about the loss prevents often well-meaning but potentially hurtful questions on how the baby is doing. 
  • Get in touch with your employer. Many companies offer the same amount of family leave that parents would have gotten following a live birth — time that can be essential for healing and grieving. 
  • Participate in the funeral arrangements. No one ever imagines such a thing as a baby's funeral. You will certainly be at a loss and need help, but you may regret delegating all the responsibilities to someone else. Do what you can to participate in the plans. After some time has passed, you may take comfort in knowing that you did the very best for your baby every step of the way.
  • Refuse sedation in the hospital. You might be tempted to stay sedated during the birth of your baby and even afterwards. But you may regret it later. Being sedated will blur your memories, and however painful they are, you'll rely on them later to help you make sense of the loss. 
  • Talk to your doctor. Don't hesitate to ask whatever questions you may have. Review the autopsy report if one was performed and you feel up to it. The more you understand, the easier it may be to process the tragedy and mourn your baby. 
  • Seek support. You may find a grief counselor helpful or take comfort in a self-help group for parents who have lost babies. Don't try to go through this alone.
  • Expect it to be hard. This may be the most difficult, painful thing you will ever go through. Allow yourself to be sad and cry — it's an essential step in the healing process. You may have dreams about your baby or think you hear him crying. You may find yourself in denial at times. You're not going crazy — it's all normal. Be patient. Give yourself time to recover physically from your pregnancy loss and grieve.
  • Expect it to get better, bit by bit. Have faith in your ability to go on. The process may take months, but eventually, you'll start to feel more like yourself again. You'll never forget your lost baby. But in time, you will heal.