You may have (happily) noticed that you’re changing fewer diapers lately and your little one is usually staying dry during naptime. These, along with other signs, indicate that it’s probably time to dive into the world of potty training.
The key to potty training success is patience and an awareness that all tots reach this ever-important milestone at their own pace. Different strategies work with different children, but these tips generally get the job done.
How will I know my toddler is ready to be potty trained?
If your little one isn’t developmentally ready for potty training, even the best toilet tactics will fall short. Wait for these surefire signs that your tot is set to get started:
- You’re changing fewer diapers. Until they're around 20 months old, toddlers still pee frequently, but once they can stay dry for an hour or two, it’s a sign that they’re developing bladder control and are becoming physically ready for potty training.
- Bowel movements become more regular. This makes it easier to pull out the potty in a pinch when it’s time.
- Your little one is more vocal about going to the bathroom. When your child starts to broadcast peeing and pooping by verbalizing or showing you through his facial expressions, potty training is on the horizon.
- Your child notices and doesn't like wet or dirty diapers. Your little one may suddenly decide he doesn't want to hang out in wet or dirty diapers anymore. That means your little one is ready to use the potty instead.
When to start potty training your toddler
Kids are generally not ready to potty train before the age of 2, and some children may wait until as late as 3 1/2.
It’s important to remember to be patient and avoid pushing your toddler to be potty trained before he's ready. All kids are different. Your child is not developmentally lagging if it's well past his third birthday before he gets the hang of potty training.
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Incentives like sticker charts with rewards after he's earned a certain number can work well for the 3-year-old set, as can establishing a regular potty schedule. Don't punish your child, as that can backfire and cause him to resist being potty trained even more. You can also let him know that boys and girls who go to preschool use the potty, if pre-K is on the horizon.
How to prepare your child for potty training
He's exhibiting all the signs that potty training systems are go. But don't donate that stash of diapers just yet — there's still work to do. These tips[1] can help smooth the transition to the potty training phase:
Play up the pottying positives
Before your first diaper-free trial run, highlight the benefits of using the potty. You might say, "Wearing underwear is fun!" or "Pretty soon you can flush like a big boy!"
But don't knock diapers or call your child's old habits babyish — that could provoke your tot’s contrarian streak and lead to real resistance.
Establish standard bathroom talk
Some experts recommend using formal words (defecate, urinate) rather than slang so kids won't be embarrassed by babyish terms when they're older — but what's more important is to be consistent with how you talk about going to the bathroom.
And never refer to your child's diaper contents as "smelly" or "gross." He'll be much more comfortable with going to the potty if he sees it as a natural, rather than a "yucky," process.
Praise grown-up behavior in general
Let your child know that you support his burgeoning maturity by praising feats such as drinking from a cup without spilling and sharing toys with a friend.
Don't demand too much sophistication, however — if he feels pressured to perform, he may start yearning for the simpler days of babyhood (and act accordingly).
Dress for potty training success
Get into the habit of dressing your toddler in the right potty training clothes. Opt for stretchy pants with elastic waists that pull up and down without any buttons, buckles, zippers or ties, avoid one-piece outfits like overalls, and let girls wear dresses or skirts as often as they'd like.
Then practice the all-important pull-down, pull-up maneuver: Ask your toddler to pull down his pants before diaper changes and then pull them back up after.
You can also let your little one go shoeless in the house to avoid getting his pants caught when he's trying to go to the potty.
And make sure, when your tot is ready, to buy soft, comfortable big-kid underpants, preferably those that are 100 percent cotton. Have fun picking them out and find ones he's really excited about, maybe with some favorite characters on them.
Show your toddler how to use the potty
Toddlers love to mimic, and the toilet is no different. You can certainly explain to your child how to sit on the potty, wipe and flush, but it's much more effective — not to mention efficient — to simply bring him into the bathroom and demonstrate.
Not all parents are comfortable parting with their modesty, though, so don't feel bad about skipping this step if it’s not quite your style.
Bridge the gap between diapers and the potty
If possible, change your tot's diapers in the room where his potty is stashed — this subtly reinforces the connection between the two.
After he has a poopy diaper, bring him to the bathroom so he can watch you flush the contents. If he's frightened by the flushing sound, just dump and flush later.
Pick the right potty
Look for a model that's durable and won't tip over when your child jumps up to check his progress. (For an added dose of excitement, shop together for the potty and wrap it as a "gift.")
Some children balk at the "baby" potty and demand to use the "grown-up" one instead. In that case, buy a potty seat that attaches to the toilet. Look for a stable fit — a shaky seat can spook a child back into diapers for weeks — and a built-in foot rest, which offers something to push against during bowel movements.
How to potty train your toddler
Potty training is a huge milestone and for many parents a rollercoaster ride, but take solace in the fact that you've laid the groundwork and now it's time to put that potty to use! Here are some tips on how to start potty training your child[2]:
Switch to Pull-Ups
When your child is just starting out on the potty, play it safe with the disposable variety. He can pull them down like underpants, but in the event of an accident they absorb like diapers and can be ripped off rather than pulled over his feet.
Once your little one has enjoyed a few successes on the potty, try switching to washable cotton training pants.
Let him bare his bottom
To boost your child's awareness of his body's signals, allow him to scamper about (in a private yard or room with a washable floor) with his lower half unclad. It's hard to ignore urine when there's no diaper to hold it in. Keep the potty close by so your child can act quickly when nature calls.
Watch closely
At this point, you might be better at detecting when your child has to go than he is. Look for telltale signs (like fidgeting or straining) and gently ask when you suspect he has to use the potty. Even if you're too late and he's already done the deed, have him sit on the potty anyway to reinforce the connection.
Keep him motivated
Remind him that using the potty means he's growing up. In the beginning, a small, tangible incentive can help too — for every success, try putting a sticker on the calendar or a penny in the piggy bank.
As he becomes more comfortable using the potty, it's best to phase out the rewards and let his inner motivation take over.
Teach him to check for dryness
This offers him an added sense of control. If he's dry, give him a pat on the back or a hug, but don't criticize him if he's wet.
Be patient
Even the most enthusiastic toddler can take several weeks to master potty training proficiency — often with as many steps backward as forward. If your expectations are unrealistic, you could diminish his self-confidence.
Don't scold, punish or shame. No parent enjoys mopping up a puddle of pee (or worse), but try to stay cool. If you overreact, you might discourage your toddler's future attempts.
Cut the nagging
Keep it casual when reminding your tot about using the potty — nagging will only provoke resistance.
Similarly, don't force him to sit or stay on the potty if he's squirming to get up — even if you know he's about to go.
Don't deny drinks
Many parents reason that by rationing fluids, they'll cut their toddler's chances of having an accident. But this approach is unfair and unhealthy — not to mention ineffective.
In fact, the better tactic is to step up your child's fluid intake to give him more opportunities to succeed.
Avoid a bathroom battle
Squabbling over going to the potty is sure to prolong the struggle. If you meet with total resistance, it's best to throw in the towel (and the toilet paper!) for a few weeks.
Be patient. As you wait for your child to come around, don't bring up the subject or compare him to peers who are already in underpants.
Potty training doesn't usually come easily or without bumps. While the prospect of ditching the diapers is exciting, getting there can try your parenting patience. But don’t lose hope. Potty training your toddler might seem daunting, but sooner or later your little one will get the hang of it and outgrow diapers. Good luck!
Frequently Asked Questions
What is the best age to start potty training?
Kids are generally not ready to potty train before the age of 2, and some children may wait until as late as 3 1/2.
How do you start potty training?
Watch for signs that your toddler is developmentally ready for potty training, and buy a small potty or potty seat for him to use. Dress your toddler in clothes that are easy to pull up and down. Talk about the benefits of using the potty and start using consistent language to describe going to the bathroom. Show your toddler how to use the potty (it's helpful to demonstrate how you go to the bathroom).
What is the best way to potty train?
The key to potty training success is patience and an awareness that all kids reach this milestone at their own pace. It’s important to remember to be patient and avoid pushing your toddler to be potty trained before he's ready.
How long should potty training take?
All kids are different. Your child is not developmentally lagging if it's well past his third birthday before he gets the hang of potty training.
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