Getting ready to add a new member to your family can feel exciting and, at times, overwhelming. You're probably thrilled to watch your firstborn become a big sibling and, of course, finally meet your baby-to-be. But it's also normal to feel nervous, whether you're anxious about how your family dynamic will change or stressed about navigating child care.
While it may feel difficult to prepare for these big changes to come, you're not alone in this journey. Lots of other parents have experienced the same feelings and have plenty of advice to share about adding a second little one to your family.
Here, 23 tips on growing your family from second-time parents in the What to Expect community who've been there.
Advice from second-time parents
Share the news with your firstborn whenever you're ready. "My child just turned 5... [my partner] actually showed her the ultrasound video with the heartbeat at around 9 weeks. Despite all my worries that he told her too quickly, she was happy and understood that there will be another person in the mix. She understands now when Mommy needs to rest, and why not to jump on me so much anymore. She's old enough now to help out, so we constantly encourage what a 'big girl' she is and what a great 'big sister' she will be. We think of names, and what she will do for and with the baby." — Trieulyhappy
Try to get your eldest excited about his new role. "I’m about to have my second child and my first is very attached to me. He's just very jealous when other kids hug me. I bought him a gift from 'his new baby' and I keep saying things like 'your baby' so he’s super excited for his baby to be born... I’m trying to constantly remind him of how cute it’s going to be and he’s going to be a big brother." — babicakes
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Know that the extra work of raising multiple children will be worth it. "My first two boys are 20 months apart. It was hard, but I am SO glad we did it. They really are BEST friends!" — cbechard
Trust yourself. "You'll figure out ways to streamline your life... and having one made me a great multi-tasker so I just use those skills now." — anardi
Reuse an older sibling's bottles. "Buy new [bottle] nipples. I will sterilize [bottles] before using them with new baby, but I think that will be it. I'm trying to [re]use as [much] stuff as possible to save some money!" — Eva2nd
Consider all your child care options. "We have an au pair come ... as that's cheaper than day care for two by more than $100 a week." — ajd4112
Remember that it's okay for siblings to share a room once baby number two is old enough. "Go for it. It could be a nice bonding experience, and it'll probably end up being easier for you, too." — MonkeyToes11
Consider a baby sprinkle or sip and see. "A friend of mine did a 'sip and see' after her baby was born. Everyone got to meet the baby and most brought diapers, wipes, etc. Most people didn't feel obligated but knew diapers and wipes were what she needed most." — BabyBmakesus3
If possible, tackle toddler transitions early. "I wanted to ease my stress before the newborn came so I started attacking the big issues that would require 100 percent of my attention. I transitioned my toddler from the crib to a 'big bed,' and we did potty training." — bebi311
Emotionally prepare for labor — and remember that you've got this. "All labors and deliveries are different. What I told myself the second time was this: No matter how long or hard this is, my body knows what to do. My body has done this before and I know I can do it again. However long or hard this will be, I know firsthand the joy of holding my baby." — ColeyBoo22
Use a baby carrier with your newborn. "The biggest thing was safety for the new baby, because my son was jealous and would be all over her in a split second. My Ergobaby [carrier] has been my lifesaver! I used it a handful of times the first time around, and this time I've used it almost every day! Every [shopping] trip: Toddler in the cart, baby in the Ergo." — baby1lt
Include the kids in your workout routine. "I have started doing things with the kids instead of going to the gym. I have some therapy exercises I do for my shoulder and my 2- and 3-year-olds have their own 'exercise balls' that we all balance on and exercise. We also do Pilates or yoga videos on occasion. I'm still not great at doing it regularly, but they have fun exercising with Mommy, and I don't miss out on time with them." — princesseryn
Store your firstborn's old clothes away for your baby-to-be. "Wash, fold [and put old clothes] in large vacuum seal bags and then into a plastic bin. Takes up less space. Also, put a label inside the bag prior to vacuum sealing with the sizing of clothes that are in the bag." — Mama-Cindy
Streamline for less clutter. "What’s helped me is minimizing and getting rid of stuff [means] less stuff to put away! I have a 6-year-old and 23-month-old. The 6-year-old is also expected to clean up after herself." — pocketfullofposies
Focus on the positives. "I love the aspect of no matter what, they always have a sibling to get through things with. They have a sibling to help calm them when we may be going crazy. I love the fact that my son is going to be an amazing big brother! I get more excited that I’m able to give him a sibling, than worrying about a change of attention." — HayleyBop22
Try not to be hard on yourself. "I know the guilty feeling regarding attention, but I remind myself that it's probably not best for my son in the long run to have all of my attention, all the time. Plus, he'll have a built-in best friend!" — kristensm
Let your eldest child hear you prioritizing him. "Let the older one hear you say to the baby things like, 'Just a second [new baby], I'll be with you in a minute; I'm helping [first kid] right now.'" — cranterp
Remember that hard times will pass. "Just remember to make special time, remind [your eldest] that she is doing a great job being a big sister and apologize on the rough days when it seems overwhelming. My girls love each other and hate each other and love each other again within the span of five minutes and it's been that way since we brought little sister home. It's not bad, you'll find a way to make it work." — thedispatcher
Don't forget the benefits for your firstborn. "You are giving her a lifelong best friend! You can still do everything you used to one on one with your daughter, read books at night, give her a bath. Just put baby down. I actually looked forward to my first daughter having to learn to share me, and all the kids that followed had to learn, too. It grows their character." akosuakate
Focus on the future. "[I try to] remind myself that it will be a tough few years, but our kids have their whole lives to be close in age and have similar interests. Hopefully they will be great friends." — aprilmamaof2
Prioritize one-on-one time with each child. "I made a point of taking turns with my kids — just because the newborn was crying it didn’t mean I immediately went to them, especially if my firstborn was hugging me or needed something. He needed to know that the crying baby didn’t make his needs moot. And when I did go to the baby, it was the baby’s turn." — duckfeet
Have confidence: You've got this! "It's easier emotionally, because I can handle the hormone changes easier or just don't have time to overthink. Physically it's harder because I have a 2-year-old. But in general it's easier and less stressful since I now know what to spend my energy, time and money on." — maryjoan63
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