Why Is My Toddler Such a Picky Eater? 6 Causes of Picky Eating

Picky eating is as common a part of toddlerhood as tantrums, bedtime battles or wanting to wear snow boots on a sweltering summer day. In other words? Behavior that's a completely normal part of your little one's development — and something that your toddler will, in time, outgrow.

For now though, you might be wondering what you can do to turn your child's persnickety food penchants down a notch to make mealtime a little less exhausting. There are plenty of strategies that can help with picky eating, but before you employ them, it's worth pinpointing exactly why your tot is so picky in the first place. 

Sometimes it's all about wanting to call the shots, for instance, in which case a bit of reverse psychology could go a long way. Other times the culprit is more straightforward — maybe your sweetie is having too many snacks or your idea of an appropriate portion size is skewed. 

Whatever the problem, there's a solution. Here are six of the most common causes of picky eating in toddlers, plus simple ways to encourage your child to be a little more adventurous. 

She wants to assert her independence and be in control

Chances are your toddler doesn't always willingly clean up her toys or cooperate while you're getting her dressed. So why would she always go along with eating what you put in front of her?

Defiance is par for the course these days as your child begins to become more independent and crave more control. And calling the shots at the table is one way for her to assert herself.

Honoring her requests for only cereal or cookies will only make the picky eating problem worse, of course. But you can still give your mini muncher the feeling of being in charge of what goes on her plate. 

Make it a policy to serve one meal for everyone (no special requests, please!), but give your cutie the option to decide what and how much of each item she wants to have. Every dish on the table doesn't have to be your child's favorite, of course. (And exposing her to new foods may, over time, encourage her to try them.) But aim to have at least one food be something familiar that your toddler likes. 

Resist the urge to bribe or negotiate over food too. Begging your tot to take three more bites of chicken in exchange for her favorite cookie just encourages the finickiness, plus, it sends the message that sugary treats hold more value than other foods.

She's skeptical of new things

Routines are reassuring for toddlers, from insisting on reading the same book at bedtime every night to needing her sandwich sliced a certain way. With that kind of desire for predictability, you can imagine how a brand new food with a different color or smell could seem very, very suspect.

That's not to say you can only serve comfort-zone foods like pasta, chicken nuggets or cereal. Even if your toddler says no way to new foods, you should keep offering them. Sure, it might take many, many meals (often between 10 and 15!) before she's willing to give it a taste. But she'll never try something if it never even makes it to the table.

Try not to pressure your tot to try the new food, which will only make her dig her heels in more. If she's not interested in the asparagus, no problem! More yummy veggies for you today. Consider serving the new item with a familiar food as well (mac and cheese with little broccoli florets, anyone?), which can make it feel a little safer. 

She's not a fan of strong flavors

If vegetables in particular seem to be problematic for your pint-sized gourmand, her hypersensitive taste buds could be to blame. Strong, bitter flavors, intense smells, and unusual textures can be overwhelming to young eaters (and may explain why many toddlers tend to go crazy for bland fare like crackers and toast). 

Chances are your sweet pea may come around to liking kale or cabbage eventually. But if big flavors are a hard no right now, try bridging the gap with pairings that make the foods a little easier to swallow.

Strips of bell pepper might not be so offensive when they're dunked in hummus or ranch dressing (be sure to keep the strips long and stay close by to avoid any potential choking hazard). And tiny flecks of spinach will probably get overpowered by the taste of marinara sauce and cheese in a veggie lasagna.

She's not hungry at mealtime

A handful of whole grain pretzels here, a glass of milk there. Well-timed snacks are a must for keeping active toddlers fueled, but nonstop grazing can make it harder for your little one to build up enough of an appetite to be interested in meals. 

Resist the urge to offer nibbles willy-nilly and stick with a predictable eating schedule. Most toddlers do well with three square meals plus two or three wholesome snacks a day. Aim to serve snacks at least an hour or two before the next planned meal so your child is still hungry for lunch and dinner. And limit your child's daily milk intake to 16 to 24 ounces, or 2 to 3 cups. Any more than that can negatively impact your little one's iron absorption, not to mention make her unnecessarily full when actual meals are served.

If your industrious eater asks for food at other times, remind her when her next scheduled snack or meal will happen and redirect her attention to something else. Sometimes kids simply want to snack out of boredom, so suggest another activity like reading a book together, making a block tower, or heading outside to burn off some energy. 

Your toddler still might not want to eat much or anything at every scheduled meal- and snacktime, and that's okay. You shouldn't force your child to eat when she isn't hungry, experts say. It can trigger power struggles at the table, not to mention create negative associations with mealtime and make it harder for your toddler to pay attention to her body's hunger and fullness cues.

Her appetite isn't as big as it used to be (or as big as you expect it to be)

Toddlers grow at a slower rate than babies, so even if your sweetie had an endless enthusiasm for food before her first birthday, she may not need quite as much energy these days.

It could also be the case that you simply think your little one needs more food than she actually does. Toddler serving sizes are tiny — on average, the amount on her plate should be about a quarter to half of what you'd serve yourself!

Try not to worry about whether your toddler isn't eating what looks like enough to you. Instead, focus on offering nutritious meals and snacks at regular times throughout the day and letting your tot decide how much to put in her tummy. She might ask for seconds (or thirds!) sometimes and down barely a forkful others.

As long as her weight gain and growth are on track and she's her usual energetic self, her calorie needs are likely being met. (If you suspect that your child's lack of appetite is affecting her growth, bring it up with the pediatrician.)

She picked up the pickiness from others

Do you tend to barely nibble at mealtime in favor of grazing throughout the day? Does an older sibling regularly denounce vegetables as disgusting? Toddlers learn by observing the world around them, so if others are being picky at the table, it's understandable that your little one might veer towards the same tendencies.

One of the best things you can do to raise a healthy eater is model good eating behaviors yourself. That means serving and eating a wide variety of wholesome foods and eating together as a family as often as possible. 

Will doing so mean your skeptical sweetie goes from only eating peanut butter toast to begging for Brussels sprouts? Probably not. But seeing you have a healthy, relaxed attitude towards food will rub off on your child over time. And one day, there's a good chance you'll find that your once-picky eater isn't quite so picky anymore.